So everyone is writing about this Jessica Simpson promoting beer to help relate to the common country folk she’s trying to seduce with this whole new country image because she realizes being a tired popstar isn’t as lucrative as being the next Dolly Parton, when we all know that Jessica Simpson’s drug of choice is poppin’ diet pills because she just wants to be skinny enough for someone to marry her and have babies with her so that she can be like her little sister.

I also think it’s funny that she went with a beer named Stampede to further solidfy just how country she is, because nothing says I jerk off bulls in my spare time and sell their sperm like a beer called Stamede. I hear her next move in getting in with the hicks is to sell her luxury cars and start riding a horse everywhere she goes.

And the real joke in all this is that the beer is charged with Vitamins, like some kind of snake oil Hollywood Atkins Low Carb bullshit to make drinking beer more guilt-free, when the truth is that beer is the reason I am pushing 300 pounds, it is the gateway drink to full blown alcoholism and is more fattening that drinking a fuckin’ milkshake, so whether shit’s got vitamins in it or not, or you piss fluorescent yellow or not, before long you’ll be headed to the hard stuff because none of your pants fit anymore, and drunk on whiskey happens faster than drunk on beer, making not wearing pants in public feel like it’s ok.

This is her quote featured in the ad and written by her dad because he jumps and any chance he gets to write about Jessica drunk and tight bodied…unfortunately a body they kept cover up to seduce the conservative backwoods people she wants to sell albums to. It’s all part of the master plan.

I work out and take care of myself. But I also like a cold beer once in a while. That’s why I made a smart choice with a smart beer. Stampede Light, it’s beer plus.

Every wonder what Megan Fox’s beauty secret is for keeping her figure so ridiculously slammin’? Well, it’s quite simple, actually — she guzzles vinegar.

She explains, “It’s just water and raw apple cider vinegar, and it just cleans out your system entirely. It will get rid of, for women who retain water weight, from your menstrual cycle and all that, it gets rid of it really fast (sic). I’m not one for dieting or exercising, ‘cause I’m lazy and I have a really big sweet tooth, so I have to do cleanses every once in a while ‘cause of the amount of sugar I take in.”

See? Looking that hot doesn’t come without a price. And that price is vinegar breath and frequent, watery diarrhea — due to the overconsumption of vinegar. So take that to your next “Megan Fox Masturbation Session.” It’s no wonder she’s dating David Silver from “90210.” Any guy with a modicum of self esteem would catch one whiff of those vinegar farts and go running for the hills.

Taylor Swift was on the set of The Jonas Brothers’ 3D movie. She wore a beautiful dress that showed off her natural looking bust. Taylor Swift and The Jonas Brothers went to New York to do their filming. Taylor, 18, had a firm fan in Joe Jonas, 19. Last Sunday, Taylor did an opening act for Rascal Flatts at the Cruzan Amphitheatre in West Palm Beach, Florida. Joe was present at her performance. He stood next to the sound technician and when her gig ended, he went backstage to see her.

Britney’s boys Jayden James and Sean Preston had a very adorable playmate Tuesday afternoon when Kingston Rossdale stopped by for a ride in their cars. His parents missed the fun and hanging in the neighborhood with Miss Spears, but the three boys together is pretty awesome. It’s quite a big week for Kingston considering his mother is rumored to be in the hospital giving birth right now! It’s going to be a while before the newest Rossdale baby is ready for playdates, but until then these three big boys are already rolling around town as a celebrity baby posse.

Fergie arrived back at LAX yesterday following her trip to London, and it clearly didn’t take her too long to get back to her usual California style. After wearing long pants and layers in the UK, she was sporting a short dress and red Wayfarers as she left the airport. Fergie has been so busy lately that between her role in Nine and her charity recording, she can’t find time to tour with the Black Eyed Peas, which is supposedly causing some tension with the band.