So everyone is writing about this Jessica Simpson promoting beer to help relate to the common country folk she’s trying to seduce with this whole new country image because she realizes being a tired popstar isn’t as lucrative as being the next Dolly Parton, when we all know that Jessica Simpson’s drug of choice is poppin’ diet pills because she just wants to be skinny enough for someone to marry her and have babies with her so that she can be like her little sister.

I also think it’s funny that she went with a beer named Stampede to further solidfy just how country she is, because nothing says I jerk off bulls in my spare time and sell their sperm like a beer called Stamede. I hear her next move in getting in with the hicks is to sell her luxury cars and start riding a horse everywhere she goes.

And the real joke in all this is that the beer is charged with Vitamins, like some kind of snake oil Hollywood Atkins Low Carb bullshit to make drinking beer more guilt-free, when the truth is that beer is the reason I am pushing 300 pounds, it is the gateway drink to full blown alcoholism and is more fattening that drinking a fuckin’ milkshake, so whether shit’s got vitamins in it or not, or you piss fluorescent yellow or not, before long you’ll be headed to the hard stuff because none of your pants fit anymore, and drunk on whiskey happens faster than drunk on beer, making not wearing pants in public feel like it’s ok.

This is her quote featured in the ad and written by her dad because he jumps and any chance he gets to write about Jessica drunk and tight bodied…unfortunately a body they kept cover up to seduce the conservative backwoods people she wants to sell albums to. It’s all part of the master plan.

I work out and take care of myself. But I also like a cold beer once in a while. That’s why I made a smart choice with a smart beer. Stampede Light, it’s beer plus.

Britney’s boys Jayden James and Sean Preston had a very adorable playmate Tuesday afternoon when Kingston Rossdale stopped by for a ride in their cars. His parents missed the fun and hanging in the neighborhood with Miss Spears, but the three boys together is pretty awesome. It’s quite a big week for Kingston considering his mother is rumored to be in the hospital giving birth right now! It’s going to be a while before the newest Rossdale baby is ready for playdates, but until then these three big boys are already rolling around town as a celebrity baby posse.

Fergie arrived back at LAX yesterday following her trip to London, and it clearly didn’t take her too long to get back to her usual California style. After wearing long pants and layers in the UK, she was sporting a short dress and red Wayfarers as she left the airport. Fergie has been so busy lately that between her role in Nine and her charity recording, she can’t find time to tour with the Black Eyed Peas, which is supposedly causing some tension with the band.

Denise Richards is often seen out with her father, Irv, and her two sad-looking daughters, Sam, four, and Lola, three. Richard’s mother died of cancer late last year. Sam and Lola have another set of grandparents on their father’s side, Martin Sheen and his wife of 47 years, Janet Templeton. The two young girls aren’t seeing much of their grandparents on their dad’s side, though. Richards and Sheen went through a contentious divorce in 2005 and 2006.Sheen has visititation rights, which Richards has tried to block and restrict multiple times.

Richards is also said to be blocking access to the girls from Sheen’s parents. They can presumably see their grandparents on their father’s side when they’re visiting their dad, of course, but Martin Sheen is mighty upset that he has limited time with his granddaughters, especially after he tried to defend Richards to his son.

Denise’s ex-dad-in-law, Martin Sheen, regularly defended her when Charlie Sheen ripped her as a derange liar, cheat, skank… etc. - but [Martin] suddenly see’s things [his son’s] way now that she’s ruthlessly blocking access to his beloved granddaughters! Said a source:

“Denise stupidly ruined any good will Martin had for her. He was the one cool head in their nasty divorce battle, keeping his son on a leash when he’d start his attack-dog tactics… but no more!”

Martin’s frustrated because Denise - who’d poured her heart out to him in long phone calls when the divorce war began - blows him off when he calls to ask if he and wife Janet can see Sam and Lola, saying “now is not a good time…”

“Denise knows Martin has taken her side many times - so now it’s like she’s spitting in his face.”

Martin has apologized for his son for asking him to temper his comments about Denise and now sees exactly what he was talking about once she turned on him, too.

Do we expect any other type of behavior from this woman? She accused her husband of child abuse so that she could try and rip visitation away from him, but that was thrown out by a judge who saw it for the ploy that it was. At least her show has been canceled and she’ll have to go back to living on that child support from Charlie. Will she wither away once the spotlight focuses away from her vile self-righteous behavior?

The other day I heard a heartbreaking story about a grandmother who watched her grandson from the time he was an infant until he was five. Her son divorced his wife and she hasn’t seen her grandson since. It’s been 13 years. Charlie and Denise live close enough that they can share visititation despite Denise’s unwillingness to obey court orders, and Charlie’s folks can see their granddaughters when they’re in his care. It’s got to be a slap in the face for Martin to be told by Denise that he can’t see the girls after he listen to her sob story so many times and tried to help smooth things out between the harpy and his son.

Who paid him to date Rumer Willis? Was it Bruce, Demi or Ashton who paid this poor soul to date this girl? It’s just so shocking to me. Her boyfriend’s name is Micah Alberti.

I wikipediaded his ass and found 4 sentences to his name. Not even one picture, what a shame. Well he’s 24..Rumer is 20..4 year difference- seems like hours of difference when in comparison to Ashton and Demi’s age difference. Micah looks pretty gay in my opinion.

Maybe that’s why he’s dating her…since she looks manly- I wonder whose dick is bigger.